My secret to getting rid of burnout permanently

Posted: August 2nd, 2014 | Author: | Filed under: Personal, Perspective | 67 Comments »

burnout

Having picked my own path for the last couple of years, there were times when I got completely burnt out as often as once every few days. Like everyone else, I was struggling and I needed to get back on my feet as quickly as possible. I have no choice but to figure out how to deal with burnout more effectively, my business needs me.

There is no shortage of articles about burnout and how to prevent it, yet I find most of those rather generic and not exactly helpful in remediating the situation. Only recently, I discovered a secret and since that “ah ha!” moment, things have changed completely for me when it comes to demanding times. As of now, I don’t even need a holiday trip to exotic destinations anymore and I am still able to keep my cool with ease.

I found the solution to be a very simple and repeatable process, so I decided to put it down into words with the hope it could reach out to more people. While my experience would not be applicable to all type of careers, I’m pretty sure it would help a majority to overcome stress and be content with current choices.

Knowing that you are burning out

Do you even know that you are burning out? I did not, not until my second job.

I found this article from LifeHacker to be pretty helpful to judge if you are having a burnout. Even if you are currently happy with your job, think about those times where you felt bad and see if the symptoms apply:

  • A generally negative attitude, often paired with the feeling that nothing is going to work out.
  • Inability to concentrate.
  • General apathy towards your work, chores, and other tasks.
  • Feelings of stagnation.
  • A lack of interest in social activities and being with others.
  • Difficulty with healthy habits like exercise, diet, and regular sleep.
  • Feeling like you’re never doing enough.
  • Neglecting your own needs (and putting the needs of others ahead of your own).
  • Personal values and beliefs lose their importance.
  • Short temper.
  • Constant exhaustion.
  • Feelings of inefficacy.
  • Feelings of detachment from people and things you care about.
  • Frequent boredom.
  • Psychosomatic complaints, such as headaches, lingering colds, and other issues with a cause that’s difficult to identify.
  • The denial of these.

(from LifeHacker)

  • The work you did kept having issues for several consecutive days.
  • What you expected to be a simple task has dragged for days.
  • Completely consumed by work and forget to pay bills or forget your date(!).
  • Lost track of time, it was Monday yesterday and it’s Friday tomorrow.
  • You work long non-productive hours and you wish to be efficient as you used to be on some other days.

(my additions)

If you only have one of these, maybe it’s fine although I suggest that you ask your colleagues, bosses or family and friends to help you. In extreme cases I came across, the person was so consumed by stress that he was not able to tell that he is burnt. The first step to any problem is awareness and acceptance. Once you have accepted that you are experiencing it, let’s move on.

Know what causes YOUR burnout. My epiphany moment.

Like everyone else, I thought that the common solution is to take a break and go on a holiday trip with loved ones or simply take a few days away from work once in a while. Holiday trips are always nice, but it didn’t exactly help me much, the effect didn’t last. Occasionally, I found myself to be extremely stressed just 2 days after I came back to work. It’s not because there were tons of work waiting, it’s not because the holidays were too short.

My enlightenment came after reading a short article about how Marissa Mayer prevents employees’ burnout (read about it here). I immediately realised an important misconception and NOT being able to take break is NOT the cause of burning out. What I have learnt to be extremely crucial in looking at the matter is another way of defining it: burning out is result of not being able to do what you love or what is important to you regularly.

Let it sink in a little before you read the next section.

Getting rid of burnout

The solution is actually quite simple: do what you love and is important to you regularly.

Another way to look at it is to ask yourself: what is it that you absolutely cannot miss out?
Do not try too hard to find the answer. You might not know the answer now, and might only discover it when you are actually doing the activities you love. It’s important to keep the question in mind all the time.

Fortunately for me, the answers came pretty easily when I knew what I needed to look for. I’m also lucky because I have been doing what I love all along. I just needed to separate the tasks keeping me happy while minimising the other mundane distractions. As a software developer, I’m passionate about writing codes and creating new things. However, as I also need to perform managerial duties, I had less and less time to do so. Repeatedly, I had to work for days without writing any useful code for the team, I became highly agitated. My solution was to simply make time to write some code every other day. I’m pretty certain many developers who are moving on to higher management roles would feel the same.

Everyone has a favourite hobby to boost energy, it could be playing a musical instrument, drawing, writing, or some kind of sports. But the real cause of burnout could be rather different. You probably can miss a practice or two without feeling resentful towards whatever it was that was stopping you. However, there would be other regular activities that you absolutely do not want to skip as they are important to you; you would keep tabs on people making you work through it, hoping for revenge one day.

The reasons are no doubt very personal, it could very well be work-related like mine, or it could be non-work related such as one example the article suggested: attending your child’s weekly event. If you still don’t have an answer, no worries, keep searching. Below is the list of questions I hope could help you to pinpoint your resentment:

  • Why do you want to take a break, go on holiday? What are you really running away from?
  • What do you love most about your work environment?
  • What do you wish to be removed from your work environment? Is it within your control to avoid?
  • How do you recharge your energy? Can it be done at the end of the day? In the middle of the day?
  • Is there any regular event/activities that you are looking forward to regularly?
  • Are there some people you want to meet but things keep getting in the way?

Though personal, if you are not able to seek into your inner self and answer these questions, find someone to help. Perhaps a coach, a person you can trust, they might know you better and ask the right questions instead.

Keeping sanity and staying ahead

Once you have found what’s important to you, keep them permanently in your schedule. Think of them as checkpoints or life-savers. You can’t stretch yourself for too long, you need to aim for the next checkpoint. Do your best not to miss it, or possibly, keep every sprint as short as possible. Over time, I have learnt to incorporate multiple re-fuelling events into my work month. There are small daily checkpoints, I get to do what I like without fail at certain times of the day. There are slightly more satisfying weekly rewards and of course, a most fulfilling activity monthly.

Having said that, it’s not always possible to keep to such a schedule. By setting up multiple rewarding activities, even if I miss one small one, I can always aim for the next bigger one as my “save game”. In the case when I really have to skip several of them, such as when I travel, I make sure to plan ahead and reserve one of the earliest day for “me-only” time and only do what I want on that day. In other words, I plan my burnout ahead of time.

Most importantly is to be aware of what you need constantly. The activities don’t need to be the same every time. As your life changes, maybe getting married or having kids, your ‘rewards’ will change. By keeping in touch with yourself, you’ll know how to line up the activities without much effort.

TL;DR

Be aware that you are burnt out occasionally and accept that. Keep a look out for what is important to you yet you kept missing out on. Make it as part of your schedule or find ways to make it up.


  • Kesler

    Excellent suggestions, and thanks for writing. I’ve been trying to understand burnout better, and your article has helped immensely!

  • http://codecondo.com/ Alex

    I tend to allocate all the difficult tasks for the very beginning of the day, and on most days – I’m not looking to work past 5-6pm, simply because I need time to forget about the working day, which I can easily do, during the late evening hours.

    We’re all working towards something, perhaps it’s financial freedom, but in doing so, we need to understand that overdoing something, is usually going to lead to bigger misery than we might have expected.

    Good points and advice, thanks!

    • Sea Man

      > overdoing something
      Like commas.

      • Anonymous_coward

        > Like commas.

        asshole

  • rsanchez1

    You could have done the google search yourself and linked to the article you’re talking about, instead of sending us to google.

    • http://kentnguyen.com/ Kent Nguyen

      I meant to show that instead of just a single source.

      • AMS

        Doesn’t matter how old Kent is, he’s nailed it here. I am less than 10 yrs from retirement and going through a very, very bad decade (plus). But I say it everyday – if I could just have some fun once in a great while, I could shake this depression. It’s been so long now that I no longer see what’s good about being alive.

        • Simon B.

          Got any photos saved? Bring them to some friends/family to go through, and make a collection of happy memories and places. Maybe that’s all you need to get started. Surviving the day to day takes so little in an industrialised society that you ought to have plenty of time to do things that makes you happy. But maybe you’ve set yourself up for a high fall with mortgages and responsibilities you can’t easily shake to feel your life is free and full?

  • http://www.Crewlab.net Alan VanToai

    “The solution is actually quite simple: do what you love and is important to you regularly.”

    This, I believe, is the greatest luxury in life.

    It’s one of the joys of entrepreneurship, as long as you remember to focus on the work you love doing, and build your business accordingly.

    Unfortunately, realistically, not everyone is so lucky. It’s possible to find work you’re passionate about in conventional jobs/careers, though it seems the majority of folks there tend to compromise on passion and end up in roles that lead to inevitable burnout.

    • Vincent van Leeuwen

      I believe many end up with burnout simply because they choose wealth over passion.

      • http://www.bahadircambel.com bahadir cambel

        hallelujah my friend

      • FrankenPC .

        I know I did. For every year through my 30’s I was fighting up the wealth ladder. I got pretty far and the price tag? My mind was broken. I’m 45 now and completely understand what the author is saying. I really wish I hadn’t gone in that direction. You don’t get a second chance. Better make the first one work.

        This is going to sound sappy and stupid. ESPECIALLY to those still pursuing wealth, power, and fame. But here it is: There are many problems living in this world. But there is only one solution to all of those problems: love. Love is the solution. Love what you do, love those you are with, and love yourself. Everything else does not matter.

        • twinkypinkie

          hippy

          • FrankenPC .

            I feel like one writing what I did. I’m actually an ex-conservative. Maybe the worst kind of hippie?

          • Simon B.

            You’re complimenting, right? If not, try one month living with minimal love and one with maximal. 30-day experiments FTW!

        • Zlat

          Beautifully written comment. Thanks for that.

      • Peter

        I can’t agree more!

      • helenm

        You are so right. OR, we choose whatever will impress or please the people who we need approval from. I didi this also, and I regret it. Going the passion route might be harder, more frightening, less certain, but I do believe it is, ultimately, the way to maintaining one’s sense of integrity and to achieving joy. I think the people who have criticized Kent’s article understandably feel stuck, but at any and all ages, we should and can feel a greater sense of control over our lives and what gives us meaning. It may mean taking some radical and seemingly risky steps, but as one person has said, we get only one chance (that we are aware of), and it is precious.

      • http://www.goingonadult.com Allison Raines

        Amazing point. So true. No one could have said it better. PRAISE!

    • http://tracks.ranea.org/ Watts

      Doing what you love and is important to you is not a work goal, per se. “Do what’s important to you regularly” is not the same as “only take jobs that involve being paid for doing what’s important to you.” What’s important to you might be taking an hour in the morning before work to write fiction. It might be hiking on weekends. It might be volunteering with a non-profit.

      This impinges on your work to the degree that you need to ensure that you have a job that’s not going to demand all your free time (the startup community in particular seems to venerate the 60+ hour workweek, which I find just nuts), and I think it’s important that you have a job that you like — if you loathe going into the office each morning the chances are you’re not going to have the frame of mind necessary to focus on other projects. I’ve been in that boat and it’s not fun. (A lot of the symptoms that Kent writes Lifehacker describing as “burnout” match symptoms of clinical depression.) But you don’t need to find something so blissful that it makes you wonder why you’re not paying them to let you work there, nor do you have to build a business around work that you love doing. (It’s great if you’re the type of person who can do it, but you’ll be lucky if you’re only putting in 60 hours a week and a whole lot of those hours will be spent on running the business.)

    • fadecomic

      I believe Watts said it well already, but I don’t believe he (and the author’s he’s deriving from) mean “as your job” necessarily, though that’d be nice. In fact, in the article, he points out that he’s not doing what he loves in his job. He says he’s doing a little of it every day.

    • Xiang Ji

      I think many of you here are simply misinterpreting what he means.

      Why something you love and is important to you have to be something *in your work*?

      Just as he himself says, he sets multiple rewards for himself, daily, weekly, monthly.

      Where does he say that they are work-related?

      Better read carefully before making such comments.

  • Xin Huang

    Thanks for the simple plan to walk out of burning-out. Really burnt out today on the job hunting and freshy legacy code. Now I know what to do tonight. Really appreciate the tips!

  • http://editcanvas.com Vanessa Lee

    nice post, thanks for the insightful read. Going to add more building to my daily life now.

  • http://7fff.com jgn

    Getting rid of burnout “permanently”?

    No offense, but might I ask how old you are? I think that to have an opinion on getting rid of burnout permanently, you need to be a lot closer to retirement age. I can’t put much stock in anyone who claims to change anything “permanently” who isn’t at least 50 years old. Come back in 20 or 30 years.

    There are lots of people who have been “doing what they love” for decades and after 3 or 4 such decades, might still feel pretty burned out.

    • Brian T. Rice

      His bio says he graduated university in 2010 and his headshot suggests he’s younger than 30. I think you have a good point in this case that the author’s sense of time scale is underdeveloped.

      • Simon B.

        Depressing that being young is now bad. If “burn out” is reserved for some specially defined usage, then maybe start a petition or movement about that and educate about your view on this phrase. And probably, age-induced fear can be handled in many different ways. Accepting to do things you hate is perhaps a sign of growing up, but what if it isn’t necessary and you could actually do things you like to do instead?

        • Brian T. Rice

          This is not about age, it’s about the fact that the author is only in early onset burnout and hasn’t even tried this technique remotely long enough to make claims. There’s more serious burnout that this technique does not resolve. And “permanent” is a laughable/presumptuous word to use by someone in their 20s.

    • http://www.haian.vn/ Bùi Hải An

      I think this article is more about the Method to eliminate burn out and it’s applicable most of the time throughout your career life. Maybe later in life he could hit more burnouts due to various reason, but coming back to this and seeing a root cause is necessary.

    • Xiang Ji

      You are probably not talking exactly about the same thing as the author and missing his point.

    • Jen

      In philosophy I learned not to to judge the deliverer of a message, but to judge the message itself to see if it has truth. I think this message has a lot of truth that most people could learn something from if they only open their minds. Doing what one loves is important at any stage in life, however, what it is that rejuvenates one does change over time, as the author pointed out. Anyone would get burned out from doing the same thing for decades, even if that were something that one loved doing. He’s talking about rejuvenation, and that’s important no matter how old you are.

      • http://7fff.com jgn

        Oh, please. Lovely that you learned something from philosophy. Let us know when you can describe a methodology for seeing if a message “has truth.”

        In pursuing a doctorate, I learned from my study of history and literature that context is significant, and if we fail to consider the person who speaks, and the situation from which that person speaks, we may lose or misunderstand the meaning, which is in most cases quite narrow.

        The age of the speaker, his or her cultural context, his or her experience, his or her psychology, gender, language — all of that is highly relevant when the speaker makes a claim about changing one’s experience “permanently.” Those are the speaker’s words. It’s a big claim.

        I wouldn’t belabor this if the author had restricted his claim somewhat. But if one puts that word “permanently” in there, and presumes to speak as though one’s own experience is universal (“Like everyone else”) and that one’s solution might somehow might help a “majority” to overcome stress, I really have to call for some rethinking of the way the message is pitched. The detail of the message is a good one, but, the title is linkbait and trolling.

        It would be far more modest to merely make the claim that this worked for the writer, and that it might be useful for some readers, on some occasions.

        • Ranjan Deshmukh

          Good perspective

  • skmvasu

    Interesting article. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

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  • http://www.RonOliverClarin.com/ Ron Oliver Clarin

    Nice article. This one helps me to decide on current situation.

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  • barcadad

    Hmm. Hemingway wrote The Sun Also Rises at 25, so I think it is possible to have a valuable perspective on life before you live most of it. Give the guy a break. I’m much older, but I found this useful.

    • http://www.goingonadult.com Allison Raines

      Great point! Age should not be an issue here. Besides the excessive grammatical errors, this article opened my eyes a lot in a helpful way. My favorite part was about asking oneself specific questions to help “pinpoint your resentment.” I feel burnt out CONSTANTLY from stresses that I intentionally/subconsciously add to my psyche. I think it’s really important to refocus my goals and determine what I absolutely love about my life. That way it’ll be easier to understand why I feel burnt out in the first place. Thanks for the advice!

  • AlphonseJr

    Great suggestions, thank you for this inspiring post

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  • Xiang Ji

    Personally I think he exactly hit the spot. A few years ago I regularly did things that I loved so I was achieving in various aspects and feeling happy although doing a lot. But later some interpersonal relationships went awry, the habit was broken and my life descended into a mess, without myself really realizing it. These two years I’ve been doing much less yet feeling much more burnt out and ineffective than I previously was, indeed because I have been kept from those regular things that I love for too long. Unfortunately I didn’t realize it in the beginning and probably even have already forgotten about it gradually. His wording of “epiphany” is exact.

  • Ely

    I agree that prolonged burnout is more driven by inability to do what you intrinsically love. But what to do if your intrinsic work loves are incongruent with the job market and your personal salary requirements? If you absolutely love writing fiction novels for your work, you’d better be amazingly good and lucky, or else be content to work some other job to service money needs while writing fiction as a hobby. In my case, my love is machine learning and scientific software development. It’s something you might expect should be very popular with the rise of big data, and yet after over a year of job searching I cannot find any jobs that truly offer someone a chance to do creative statistical modeling to use machine learning to solve applied business problems. That job just does not exist in the job market. Some jobs purport to be like that but then they really aren’t. Instead they focus solely on the data stewardship and database infrastructure work that is peripheral to data science — but they never want to hire a person to actually do the science part of the work. It’s just not in the job market.

    So I am extremely burnt out. Jobs that require me to deliver ad hoc software for ad hoc analytics are really soul crushing. No one ever actually uses good testing practices and no one cares about proper software architecture. The higher you go up the managerial ladder, the more disconnected people become from the messy complexities of delivering software products and the less they care about it. I’ve realized that I am not capable of performing a software job like that — and that I need to be sleuthing through data to apply statistical modeling techniques to solve problems. But there are just zero jobs like that on the market. (Again, if you search many job boards you might see hundreds of jobs that *look* like they are of this type, but always when you probe further it’s never about doing predictive modeling and it’s always about doing data stewardship and database dev-ops work).

    For this sort of thing, simply saying “do what you love” is frustrating to hear. It is empty advice because it’s a platitude. It’s removed entirely from the real constraints imposed on every attempt to try to do it.

    • http://kentnguyen.com/ Kent Nguyen

      Not sure where you are located but it sounds like you need to broaden your search, perhaps considering relocation? I’ve done just one big-data project but I can appreciate what you are doing. The demand is huge from my perspective. I know a lot of companies are in search of good (big) data scientists.

      • Ely

        I am in the northeast US with advanced degrees in engineering and applied math and several years of experience, so I don’t think job availability is part of it. There are hundreds of job listings for “big data” and “data science” but when you really dig down and ask the hiring managers what they desire, it’s always the same. They want someone to perform just the stewardship part of data science. Just setting up database and infrastructure systems, learning enough web programming to help with data web services, looking into NoSQL technologies and learning enough to make intelligent trade-offs about data storage for the application at hand. Often they also want you to be knowledgeable about dev-ops tools like vagrant, chef, etc., and to be able to handle some of that on your own without burdening IT. They always characterize these positions as sitting “between” IT and Research.

        Most often, there already exist legacy senior scientists in most of these firms. They have often created analytics platforms over years or sometimes decades, and the companies are not interested in letting new people explore altenerative models. They only want to take their preconceived models and make them run at larger scales in an efficient way that absorbs all of the data unpleasantness away from their legacy scientists and managers.

        I think it’s not so much a problem with job markets. It is much more of a problem that companies don’t actually want to be scientific or innovative in their approaches. Rather, they want to build up a lot of infrastructure to protect their already-chosen status quo models and techniques.

      • Les K

        have you considered, gulp, academia?

        • Ely

          I actually left a Ph.D program after three years because there is even less availability of creative, purposeful work in academia, not to mention much worse pay and worse benefits.

  • Get4Real

    “There are no shortage of articles about burnout and how to prevent it. Yet I find most of those rather generic and not exactly helpful in remediating the situation.” —> I feel the same way about this article, and most of the ideas were borrowed from other sites. You’ve only applied it to your own circumstances. I think you could have boiled it down to a “life quote” and kept moving.

    • Simon B.

      I very much like the collecting together of signs. Being wise or knowing is far away from actually doing what you know you should. Perhaps someone could build an app for the coming Pavlov-bracelet or similar device/method that zaps all brave new users into a life of bliss and happiness. My pet theory is that you need to explore new places and get some sun. Especially true those up in the northern latitudes.

  • mwm

    I’m a senior executive in a billion dollar plus organization that’s within 5 years of retirement and think his advice is spot on…thanks for taking time to share it.

  • http://www.hoyecomova.com marta

    Great article and not the same meditate for an hour, or do a specific kind if excerecise, activity or eat this or that although certain foods do give me energy and I find comfort inmediating a few minutes. The suggestions on your article are very double and they dion’t make me feel obligated into piling more on my schedule. I am a writer and entrepaneur and work from home which leads me into putting my needs last. I noticed that for the last few days, because my husband and I decided not to postpone our walks, I have been feeling cheerful, less tired and sleep better. I will incorporate some other things, like lunch with friends once a week, doing yoga in the morning more often, and depending time with family more often.

  • Sally

    I don’t think the question of age is relevant in this particular case. In others it is very relevant.
    The symptons of burnout are well known, as I have had experienced them a number of times.
    I think the point that the author is trying to get through , and I know it is not easy, is try to find something that you particularly like, and do it every day. Just fit it in and the point, is it will lift your feeling of well being.
    My Dr has told me I am not allowed back to see him until I have done my homework, exactly that!
    Good luck, you can always find just a little time, just for yourself.

  • http://www.linkedin.com/in/suzannecloudtapper Suzanne Cloud

    I thought this article was terrific. It’s about doing what you love, pacing yourself and asking for help when the busy work overwhelms you. I founded a nonprofit with a friend a decade ago and the early years were incredibly hectic. We made a pact that as soon as either one of us felt symptoms of burnout, we’d vocalize it and give the whoever needed it a breather.

  • http://zeb.tumblr.com Zeb

    This was a great piece that resonated with me and all the timeful, lift, power of habit movement coming into high use. I’d like to hear more about the specific types of rewards and time allotments you found to work. And the proofreader in me has some suggested small edits for you “help A majority … tone contenT with…”. Cheers

    • http://kentnguyen.com/ Kent Nguyen

      Thanks Zeb. Edited

  • JMD

    I have been working in the Tech Industry (in Europe) for the last 25 years. So I have encountered more ups and downs than I wish to count. I found that for me the “checkpoint” that you are talking about was my weekly jogging. I really enjoy running outdoors and find that it relaxes my body and my mind. And over the years I have come to acknowledge that regardless of what happens during the week, the good, the bad and the ugly, I will have at least one opportunity to really enjoy myself without anyone or anything butting in. When things become really tense during the week I sometimes visualize my weekend jog and it immediately gives me another perspective. I know that all counters will be reset to zero during my next run.
    I think that your intuition is very interesting and that it would be worth someone digging deeper into your recommendation.

    • Simon B.

      Nicely written, and I’m sure anyone who really wants to can create a “happy place”. The mind can do astonishing things and can change enormously by training. Alternatives to jogging? Maybe fishing or meditating? For anyone who tries and fails, maybe read up how change your mind by artificially creating habits. A beginners book on Neuro Linguistic Programming will provide the basic tools, and if you need more help than a basic book that it’s probably most cost-effective to find a professional to set you up and do some coaching.

  • Subomi Plumptre

    I love this. This is the solution I was looking for. Thank you!

  • Russ

    When I had a tour of duty in the Pentagon as a CDR, I re-energized by playing handball. I quickly found out that there are some really talented handball players there, which is what one would expect from the cream of the crop stationed there. However, the downside was that that escape mechanism also took me away from my duties, so that I basically lost an hour of work time every time I played. You can’t do that an compete with the driven personalities there. It’s straight forward and simple: “You either work 10-12 hours a day or get thrown into the trash can.” It’s brutal. .

    • Simon B.

      And thus obviously not a place you’d want to work at, if you have a choice. Maybe you have already found more rewarding work elsewhere?

      • Russ

        Good comment, Simon B. The challenge is that you and I compete with men and women who have photographic memories, astounding endurance, and a clear goal to follow. We, who are reasonably intelligent, but not blessed with all these talents, and have to work long and hard just to survive. It’s OK to be in this great teeming mass. The trick is to be at peace with our place in life.

  • http://stancebranding.com aimeemdoyle

    Do what you love….hmmmm let’s figure that out.

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